“I will not say, do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.

― J.R.R. Tolkien

Grief is something that we will all experience one day or another. It is a very normal process and should not be looked down upon.

We tend to connect these feelings to the death of a loved one.

Many feel grief when a close friend moves away or stops talking to them. Others experience it when they get fired or laid off from work. How could grief be all of these and they didn’t involve anyone passing away? Honestly, it’s because many haven’t defined grief correctly.

Defining Grief

Think about what all the scenarios above had in common. A loss of a loved one, a loss of a job, and a loss of companionship. Therefore, the root cause of grief is loss.

From losing a game to losing a significant other, we’ve all lost something. The differences though is how important what we lost was.

For example, you may get sad if you lost your child’s baseball glove, but you’d grieve if you lost your child. Notice that both examples included something lost, but the intensity was defined by the degree of importance (child’s glove vs. child).

Different levels of maturity will also define how one processes grief. For example a child may grieve over their dead gold fish that they owned for a matter of hours, where the parent may complain saying, “Why haven’t you thrown the gold fish away yet?”

Grief and its course

Are there time limits on grief? How long should I grieve? What if I don’t feel like I’m grieving? What if I don’t feel like I have to grieve?

Each person will express grief in their own way and in ways they’re comfortable with. There aren’t time limits on how long one should grieve as long as the idea that “Life still goes on” is understood. This is not to be insensitive to your loss, simply the reality.

Grieving processes will differ and could be substantially cut down with a grief counselor. This process will require that you are open, patient, as grieving doesn’t finish overnight, strong because you are facing something you don’t want to face, and supported with people such as family, friends, and counselors.

A grief counselor will help you through this time of trouble. The friends and family will help with the grieving process to help ease your pain, but the grief counselor will help you get through and help you heal from the pain as the grief tends to bring disorientation to your life’s circumstances.

If you or someone you know might be suffering from grief, contact us now so we can talk about our Grief Counseling in Brea or Loss Counseling in Brea.