I talk a ton about toxic people during individual counseling sessions and in our podcast.
People tell me that I just don’t understand or that the toxic person doesn’t always act that way. All these may be possible, but see for yourself if that person fits into any of these listed below.
In Genesis 27, you learn about a character named Jacob. He cheats his brother out of his inheritance and lies to his dad to steal it. These people are the liars, cheats, and thieves in our lives.
They can be very conniving and very convincing. It could be a significant other who continuously cheats on you and may need couples counseling.
These are the people that are the most toxic in our lives and need to be distanced, and some very far.
The Me, Myself, and I
In Matthew 18:23-35, Jesus talks about a servant who receives mercy, yet doesn’t give mercy. They’ll borrow, but won’t let others borrow. It doesn’t stop there, they will be merciless. They may even put you down for wanting to borrow something from them.
No mercy and it’s all about themselves.
They get a new car and it’s the greatest thing, but you get a new car and they find reasons why it’s sub par.
These people are depressing and many times, leeches on your life. You are just another cog in their world until you’re not needed. Toxic people like this need to be distanced.
The “Oh, That was different”
This is that person who gets mad at you for not standing up for them, but throws you under the bus for something similar. When you confront them on the issue, they tell you “Oh, that was different.”
These people tend to be very hypocritical and many times, have a double standard. They can be selfish and in it just for themselves.
The Chicken Little
This is your typical “Debbie Downer”. They have the scoop on all things negative and sometimes, it could feel like the sky is falling. Maybe they’re a little too into the conspiracy theories.
Most times, they are harmless, but too much negativity can take a toll on a person.
The Siskel and Ebert
This is that person in your life that has nothing good to say, but has plenty of criticisms. They criticize the way you look, chew, walk, etc. It’s almost as if something negative could happen if they ever complimented you.
This type of relationship is toxic!
The “Brother Bad Luck”
These are those people in your life that you help, but for some reason, your help is needed again, again, again, again, again, again,again,again, oh finally we’re done..but then, again, again, again, again,again….. I think you get it.
For some reason, they just seem to keep having this streak of bad luck. Brother Bad Luck might be praying for a miracle, but, “the Lord” keeps testing him. In a sentence or two, they might bring up the struggles of Job, in the Bible, as a comparison.
The moment you think the helping is done, it’s not. This, in many cases, are those stuck in a victim mentality. These are the people who can walk, but choose not to.
Note: There are cases where the person is genuinely handicapped. These are not to be considered as The “Brother Bad Luck”, and I would recommend helping those who genuinely need it.
The Al Bundy
If you ever watched this (silly) show, you’d recall the speech that Al, the father, would constantly recite. It was about how in 1966 (while in high school), he had scored four touchdowns in a single game.
While that’s fine and dandy, but Al was far from high school and was married…. with children… (Sorry had to).
The point is that Al was still stuck in “the good ole days” and hadn’t moved on. There are those who constantly bring up the past because, unfortunately they still live in the past.
The Pitch Perfect
This is that person who is so nice and sweet. They’re actually a joy to be around, but they have a tendency of over promising and under delivering.
This is that person who constantly says that they miss you, but won’t pick up the phone to call. They may constantly promise to hang out, but something always comes up.
They’ve got the perfect sales pitch to make you feel great, but there follow through is horrible. Perhaps because they give everyone they meet the same pitch they give you.
The Frank Sinatra
They might not be singing I did it my way, but their actions sure scream it. It’s there way or the highway. You have a say, but you don’t. You might be told you’re important, but don’t get in the way.
How about when Frank gets angry because something didn’t go his way. That anger could be outrageous, but later, it’s justified their way.
Nobody is always right, and nobody can always get there way without eventually hurting the people around them. That could be very toxic!
Sure, we got through this with some light humor, but I hope you can realize the seriousness of some of these characters we’ve painted.
Toxic people are everywhere and the truth is we (me included) have been toxic at some point. We all go through our rough patches and some break through it.
If you are dealing with toxic people in your life, it’s best to keep at least a little distance. Some deserve to be completely cut out of your life, specifically, those who are abusive.
Sometimes, God will give us an opportunity to speak life into the toxic person. Other times, all we can do is pray for them.
If we can be any help to them, please share this with them, or feel free to contact us below.
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