In life we will go through many trials, but some people have a better way of handling it. In counseling I’m able to see them all and have begun to see a pattern of why some people will always be a failure.
Here are five:
1. The lacking planner
We’ve heard the saying, “Failing to plan is planning to fail”. That couldn’t be truer in some couples counseling sessions.
Many times I’ve asked couples what their goal in counseling is and they both give me a blank stare. It’s obvious that having a goal was never a goal.
2. The Articulate Critic
Have you ever experienced a person who was never happy? You know the one that always has an excuse or has an opinion about everything.
How about those that are impossible to please. You go to a restaurant, they order a burger, and give the waiter specific instructions on how to cook the meat (as if the cook has never done this). Of course, when they get their food, they’re disgusted and outraged on why they didn’t cook it right.
Well, I call this person the Articulate Critic. I have been criticized for my clothes and other facets. Why doesn’t it drive me crazy? Because they’re scared, so their defenses are on high. It’s a protecting mechanism, but more importantly, they have created a path out of counseling.
This critic will articulate everything that is horrible about you to avoid the real problem, themselves. Some will even stop coming to counseling because, “If the counselor was closer to my work”, “If the counselor was younger/ older so they can relate to me”, or “If the counselor wouldn’t wear that, I could take them more seriously”. Very articulate, but no substance to the argument.
3. The Hopeless romantic
“But we were made for each other.” “God put this person in my path because…” and we can go on forever.
I call these Hopeless Romantics because everything sounds like a movie quote or some novel. Here’s the issue with this; their sources are movies and novels, not real life!
4. The Webmd professor
I know we all go online to self (mis)diagnose and as we do that, we begin to learn new terms and definitions. Then we also like to take this (mis)information and pretend we’ve just magically bypassed any type of formal schooling because we’ve read the entire paragraph which makes us experts.
OK, you see the satire, but it doesn’t make it any less true. We’re all guilty of this and that becomes our folly. As great as these websites are, they’re in no way a formal diagnosis and can lead you down a worse path.
5. The Love Doctors groupie
There are some wonderful books out their about any subject under the sun. The only problem is that many books are like conversations that you walked in on. You don’t know how or why it started. Sure, you can get the gist of it, but many times, you miss an important point, and now your misunderstanding has given birth to a rumor.
I highly recommend reading books, but don’t forget most self-help books are written to a general audience, thus some important aspects may not be mentioned or may be completely ignored.
I hope you see that this isn’t meant to put people down, but rather educate you, the reader. Life can be intimidating and the key is to face the facts and prevent being a loser.
Finally Alive Counseling is located in the beautiful city of Brea, CA.
Individual Counseling and Couples Counseling located near Fullerton, Placentia, Yorba Linda, La Habra, Rowland Heights, Anaheim, and Anaheim Hills.